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Golf & religion a heavenly mix of jokes


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Heaven or Hell

There was a good man named Bill who died and appeared before St. Peter at the Holy Gates. St. Peter checks out his books and discovers that there is a problem. He says that there is no clear answer in the books on where the man is supposed to go, Heaven or Hell. He suggests that the man should go to Hell and check it out, so that he may make the decision himself. If he didn't like what he saw there, he could come back to Heaven.

Well, this man had only one true vice while he was alive. It seems he had an uncontrollable desire to play golf at any opportunity. He had traveled the world playing all the famous golf courses. When the man arrived in Hell, Satan welcomed him, but he too was surprised at the man's situation. He had assumed that since the question about the man's ultimate destination wasn't clear, the man would go to Heaven.

Behind Satan, Bill could see the most beautiful golf course ever built. It had beautiful trees, blue ponds, water separating the fairways, and almost everything in a golf course a golfer could ever wish for in life. Bill fell in love with at first site, and he couldn't control himself. He just had to play a round. The devil showed him a solid gold electric golf cart, a perfect leather bag-- soft and supple yet strong like iron, and a brand new set of Big Bertha clubs. Satan reached into his pocket and presented the man with a Golden Tee. The devil then said that only members could play. The man couldn't control himself. He just had to play there.

Bill returns to Heaven and tells St. Peter that he has decided to stay in Hell so he could play on the Beautiful Golf Course there. When the man returns to Hell, he approaches Satan and asks for a tee time. The devil says that anytime at all, the man could play. No one else uses the course. Chuckling with glee, the man approaches the first tee. He gets out of his beautiful golf cart, reaches for his perfectly matched clubs and selects his driver. He then reaches into his pants pocket and pulls out his Golden Tee, then frantically searches everywhere for a ball. Satan comes up and the Bill asks him for a ball.

"That's the Hell of it," says Satan.


 






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