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The new club members
Fred and Harry decided to join the best golf club that money could buy. On their first lay they went into the bar for a drink before the game. They ordered two whiskies and enquired:
"How much is that.'"
The barman smiled. "Are you new members?" he asked. "This your first day at the club?"
"Yes," replied Fred and Harry.
"Well, it's on the house."
Then the two friends decided to lunch in the club lining room. It was a sumptuous repast after which Harry called the waitress over.
"We'd like to settle up," he said.
The waitress smiled sweetly and enquired whether hey were new members.
"Yes," they told her, "we are indeed."
"And is this your first day at the club?"
"Yes," they replied.
"Then, it's on the house, sirs."
Much pleased, the two decided it was time to have a game so they walked into the pro shop to buy some balls.
"Give me half a dozen," Fred ordered grandly. `How much is that?"
"Are you new members, sir? Is it your first day at the club?"
"Yes, yes," smiled Fred
"That will be seventy-five dollars," the pro advised.
Fred turned to Harry and whispered:
"It sure ain't by the throat they got you in this club."