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Match Play Laws...

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A fool and his money make excellent golfing companions
A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponent's sheer dumb luc
Always limp with the same leg for the whole round
Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut
Don't needle your partner
Don't talk in your own backswing
Golfers who claim they never cheat also lie
Good golf manners require you to help a competitor search for a lost ball, but nothing says you have to find it
Good sportsmanship is as essential to the game of golf as good penmanship is to stock car racing
If your opponent hasn't played the course before, don't be a spoilsport and ruin all the surprises
If you're the only one who improves your lie, it's cheating; if you all improve your lies, it's a reasonable allowance for unfair playing conditions
In any best-ball match, the smaller the significance of your partner's putt, the greater the probability that he will sink it
It's surprisingly easy to hole a 50-foot putt when you lie 10
Never leave your opponent with the sole responsibility for thinking of all the things that might go wrong with his shot
Never play anyone for money who carries a 1-iron, has a tattoo, doesn't wear a glove, and can bounce a ball off the face of a sand wedge more than ten times in a row
Never play with anyone who would question an 8
Never subtract so many strokes on any one hole that you wind up with the honor on the next tee
Never take a check from anyone who uses a bag tag as I.D.
Taking more than two strokes to get down on a lightning-fast, steeply sloped green is no embarrassment unless you had to hit a wedge between the putts
The lower the stakes in any match, the more outrageous the behavior of the competitors
The putt for all the marbles will be on a green they just sprayed with something that makes you dizzy
The score a player reports on any hole should always be regarded as his opening offer
The statute of limitations on forgotten strokes is one hole
There is no such thing as a friendly wager
Whenever there is money riding on a hole, someone will appear riding on a mower
You can hear a clap of thunder from a hundred miles away when you're three holes down with three to play

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