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Excuses for when you just have to go and play golf!

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Those airplanes are flying too low. The exhaust pushed my ball into the water.
Those damn people won't shut up.
Those guys were making too much noise in the other fairway.
Those hedges were just planted. That's a do-over.
Those swing machines are too expensive.
Titanium balls fly too far for my ability.
To hell with the tournament. Besides, I don't look good in green jackets anyway.
What do you mean, winter rules aren't allowed in the summer?
When I yelled 'fore', my caddie thought that was the club I needed.
When I'm on the practice tee the all always goes straight.
When the hole was moved, the greens-keeper left a gap in the green. There goes my eagle.
When you leaned on your putter, and it left an indentation on the green.
You are never watching when I hit a good shot.
You should have seen my play last week.
You should have told me about the water on this hole.
You were moving when I was attempting my birdie putt.
Your cell phone should have been switched off. I want a do-over.
Your cigar smoke keeps getting in my eyes when I putt.
Your farts stink. I can't concentrate, let alone breathe.
Your golf shirt is too bright. Who the hell dresses you?
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